How do I help an online friend...

[dogsrme]

I have this online friend who tried to kill herself and I am trying to talk to her and understand why and maybe help me not want to do that anymore. I don't know how to tell her, I tried many things and I don't know her in real life so I can't really do anything more and I need some advice. She tried shooing me away from the IM and she worries me. You can go to a mental place for wanting or cutting yourself. I know she asked one of my friends "what is the most painless way" to kill yourself.

I honestly do care about her and I don't want her to do something that she will regret in her life. I know that some people try killing themselves, end up just wounding their self and not dyeing. She won't really talk to me about it and i know something is bothering her.

Does anyone have advice? I don't want to see her hurt herself or even think about suicide.

Just some advice for anyone out there who has thought of doing this, please don't. It isn't worth it. Your life may look bad now but it will get better, have to give things time. God will take you on his own time. There are so many people who have it worse than you. People in other countries that have no house, no clothing, kids who have no education. They don't have anything, all the little things we take for granted each day, they don't have.

[PudelGrl]

I have this online friend who tried to kill herself and I am trying to talk to her and understand why and maybe help me not want to do that anymore. I don't know how to tell her, I tried many things and I don't know her in real life so I can't really do anything more and I need some advice. She tried shooing me away from the IM and she worries me. You can go to a mental place for wanting or cutting yourself. I know she asked one of my friends "what is the most painless way" to kill yourself.

I honestly do care about her and I don't want her to do something that she will regret in her life. I know that some people try killing themselves, end up just wounding their self and not dyeing. She won't really talk to me about it and i know something is bothering her.

Does anyone have advice? I don't want to see her hurt herself or even think about suicide.

Just some advice for anyone out there who has thought of doing this, please don't. It isn't worth it. Your life may look bad now but it will get better, have to give things time. God will take you on his own time. There are so many people who have it worse than you. People in other countries that have no house, no clothing, kids who have no education. They don't have anything, all the little things we take for granted each day, they don't have.

I don't know whats availible in the USA, but in Canada there are several help lines for young people in difficult times. The councillers on them are great listeners and have the ability to recomend local centres that can help people (many of them low cost or even free). In Canada the main one is the kids help phone at 1-800-668-6868. I did some searching in the USA and also found a hotline called 1-800-273-TALK, which focuses on suicide. I also found the Youth American Hotline at 1-877-968-8454.

The best thing you can do for her is listen and encourage her to seek help. In addition, if you know of any of her direct friends or relatives make sure to inform them that you are worried about her and see if they can help get her into councilling. They can even take her to the local hospital if they get worried as the majority have mental care units. If they are having problems with her they can even call the police as it is legal if someone is legitimately trying to kill themselves to force mental care upon them. Doctors can sign forms that make treatment for the individual manditory, I have seen it as a lifesaver in more than one case.

As for your writing at the bottom, keep in mind that people thinking about suicide won't appriciate being told things like that. The last thing they really need is to be preached to.

[dobetaztic]

being there for her to talk to and just listening is the best thing if she is telling people that she is looking at the options for suicide she is crying out for help it does not mattaer what other people have or dont when youare depressed then all you ever see is your own problems and they can be hard to get out of there could be something she is struggling with that she just feels she cant escape from and death feels like the only way out but is trying to find help by telling people she wants to die. listen to her try not to judge or tell her people are worse off and see if she will go to her doctors they can help with counceling and may be medication she does not need to feel that she is made or will be locked up also there are help lines like the samaritains too who can help

[starry8740]

Just the joys of teenage girl adolesents. I remember being that age, wanting to kill myself, I would try strangling myself. Nobody was there to talk me through it. Nobody cared, I could shout it out but nobody would do a darn blazing thing. It is something that you will go through and a phase you will pass. They will get better once you are older but until then things will get worse. I don't think medication will help. I don't beleive in taking pills unless its for something that you need like cancer pills, allergy pill ect... I got through my depression without anyone to talk to, without pills and I didn't end up hurting myself. Just have to learn to stop complaning to otherp people and look for the good in things.

[PudelGrl]

Just the joys of teenage girl adolesents. I remember being that age, wanting to kill myself, I would try strangling myself. Nobody was there to talk me through it. Nobody cared, I could shout it out but nobody would do a darn blazing thing. It is something that you will go through and a phase you will pass. They will get better once you are older but until then things will get worse. I don't think medication will help. I don't beleive in taking pills unless its for something that you need like cancer pills, allergy pill ect... I got through my depression without anyone to talk to, without pills and I didn't end up hurting myself. Just have to learn to stop complaning to otherp people and look for the good in things.

Most kids go through phases, however there is a small percentage that do suffer clinical depression. There is a big difference between being sad for a period and actually being mentally ill. The best thing a person can do is get assessed, not everyone needs medication or psycotherapy, but its better to get assessed so one actually knows.

I was originally diagnosed with clinical depression at age 16 and it has been a heck of a time getting to where I am now. I have had several incidents of Major Depressive Disorder since then but now I think I have things under control. I spent several years under a good psychologist. Now I don't need to see my psych as often, but I do have to spend a lot of time working at keeping myself mentally well. This does involve medication (People who are truly clinically depressed have neural function problems and this corrects it. If you are on the wrong medication or do not need it you won't find it helping at all.), as well as relaxation exercises and a lot of other small things to keep my life stable.

Starry, I know you don't "Believe in medication" but please keep your opinion to yourself. Having loved ones that didn't "believe in medication" for my illness (Yes, depression is an illness) came very close to killing me once.

[Weesha1717]

My 14 year old sister was diagnosed with Mild Bi Polar disease. She would go through a 6 month period of severe depression and then a 6 month or so period of horrific mood swings. We were told by her doctors that she to has thought about suicide, because of the way she always feels. She is medicated now, to stabilizer her, and is going to a private medical school for her schooling.

Medical diseases should never be left untreated. If a person has a disease, most of the time it won’t go away on his/her own.

We have been through hours of counseling, therapy, appointments, and hospital visits with her.


My sister inherated it from her fathers side of the family.

[Shells_k]

Just the joys of teenage girl adolesents. I remember being that age, wanting to kill myself, I would try strangling myself. Nobody was there to talk me through it. Nobody cared, I could shout it out but nobody would do a darn blazing thing. It is something that you will go through and a phase you will pass. They will get better once you are older but until then things will get worse. I don't think medication will help. I don't beleive in taking pills unless its for something that you need like cancer pills, allergy pill ect... I got through my depression without anyone to talk to, without pills and I didn't end up hurting myself. Just have to learn to stop complaning to otherp people and look for the good in things.

I think you are very lucky if you were able get through that yourself and kudos to you for being a strong person. But please do not assume that your depression issues were anything close to being the same as someone who has severe emotional &/or mental problems. It is an illness which an awful lot of people can not handle on their own. I think that is very insensitive to not be more understanding and make a blanket statement that "People just have to learn to stop complaning to other people and look for the good in things." :confused:
You have to be more open minded Starry, and realize that what applies to you does not mean that it is the same for other people and automatically dismiss it and not being as serious or as important. ;)

[dobetaztic]

over here in england too many teanager start self harming and we also have a high suicide rate too that is why i suggested listening and going to the doctors she might not need medication just some one to listen and understand she could get to speak to a group of like minded people who have felt the same in the past

[PudelGrl]

over here in england too many teanager start self harming and we also have a high suicide rate too that is why i suggested listening and going to the doctors she might not need medication just some one to listen and understand she could get to speak to a group of like minded people who have felt the same in the past

Very true, not everyone needs medication, but its definatally a good idea to have an expert determine what the problem is and what might be the best route for treatment. Some people only need some basic councilling, while others need medication or major lifestyle changes. Mental illnesses have so many factors, each case really has to be treated separately.

[dogforever]

Haven't had idea about this type of help things.

[dogsrme]

I contacted her nephew. I asked him to tell her mom for her and he thought I was joking. So I don't know if he will tell her mom or not. I hope he does, I don't want her to kill herself.

[kiya]

it seems because she is asking about ways to do it, she does not really want to do it, she is after attention,

you should tell her family again,

[Shells_k]

it seems because she is asking about ways to do it, she does not really want to do it, she is after attention,

Just because she might be after attention this time, does not mean she doesnt need some help, or that she wouldnt try it down the road. A lot of times that is a cry for help.
I think you did the right thing dogsrme.